I bought these because I thought they were stuffed with some sort of bacony goodness. In truth, I thought they’d be like Combos (a.k.a. the “Official Cheese-Filled Snack of NASCAR”). Alas, these are not stuffed with bacony goodness. In fact, they are not stuffed at all. This was a downer. But, I remained curious about the bacon flavor. I find it kind of amusing that their wheatiness (“flavour wheaty tubes”) is touted on the package. Sure, I suppose they’re made of wheat, but the strong bacon scent and taste tends to negate any wheat flavor.

The bacon is strong with this one. When I opened the package, I thought of Bacon Bits, and also about Beggin’ Strips, which are bacon-themed American dog snacks that smell like something humans could eat. These smell and taste like a bacon bonanza. They’re also appropriately crunchy. The entire combination is kind of amusing- it reminds of something in patent law called an “awkward combination.”  An awkward combination is basically composed of three different products which have been changed slightly to make something new.  These snacks have the consistency of a corn or potato product, but they’re very emphatically made with wheat. They’re inexplicably tubular, as if designed by crunch engineers, and unlike most carbohydrate-based snack foods, they taste like meat. There’s a lot going on.

If you like bacon, or jerky generally, you’ll probably like these snacks. The initial bite is pretty salty, and despite my usual predilection for savory snacks, I actually prefer the rich, fatty aftertaste. These sensations- salt, then sumptuous fat- are not unlike those experienced while eating actual bacon. These Wheat Crunchies are probably as near to bacon as wheat will ever be, except on a farm.