Lay’s Classic Burger Flavor Chips

Lay's Classic Burger

Lay’s Classic Burger Flavor chips are actually the Wonka Gum of chips (in contrast to the Bolognese Hula Hoops). I don’t know what sorcery produced them, but they taste exactly like McDonald’s cheeseburgers.  I think they took the pickle-flavored chip, which Belgium does very well, and added mustard and celery (according to the ingredients list) to somehow replicate the first bite of a McDonald’s burger (provided that the pickle isn’t hanging off the side of the burger like Jack on that door in the Atlantic- THERE WAS ROOM).  Lay’s chose not to include a strong smoky flavor, like many of the meat-flavored chips use to reproduce meat flavor. The chips work well without the smoke.

When I bought these, I saw two women buying large bags for themselves. I understand why now.  I imagine that if you crushed these and put them on an actual burger, biting into the burger might create a junk food worm hole. Maybe these chips are like McDonald’s spooky action at a distance. Although usually I’d refer to McDonald’s spooky action at a distance as my ability to actually gain weight while simultaneously eating McNuggets. (“Whaaaa? Why don’t my pants fit? Must be physics…there are so many things we’ll never understand about the universe!” *blithely walks into KFC while looking at workout videos on Instagram*).